2018 Year in Review

Since life hasn’t undergone earth-shattering changes, I haven’t written a year-end review in quite a few years. Its existence is necessarily a ritual — something worth commemorating.

The few reviews I’ve written before were nothing more than summaries of what I’d done and what material things I’d acquired, never touching on lessons or wisdom. My family has no sages, no family philosophy, not even any worldly experience to pass down. Fortunately, this year I read a highly valuable bestselling book — Principles by Ray Dalio — which, for someone from my upbringing,恰好 fills those gaps.

This moment in 2018 is slipping away at breakneck speed in a dwindling countdown. As the year comes to a close, in what spirit should I look back on it? And in the coming year, with what expectations should I welcome it? Applying the methods from Principles, what life lessons can I distill?

Human behavior is determined by one’s own cognition, and human change, at its root, is cognitive change. When my actions reached a dead end, I carefully examined some of my past perspectives, identified their shortcomings, and improved upon them. From many angles, it was finally in 2018 that I got on the right track: choosing one person to grow old with, settling on a lifelong career, and actively exploring things beyond my current abilities.

During the last Spring Festival, my family gathered around the stove for an evening conversation and brought up a past event. Grandpa overheard their discussion and immediately shut it down with a forceful stance. Around that time I had just read Soft Burial and recalled a line: “There are always things in this world not worth remembering. Or rather, there are some things and some people you must forget.” I immediately understood his intention. The experiences of 2017 had left me mired in prolonged suffering from which I couldn’t extricate myself. I drew inspiration from that experience and soon let go of those troubles. There is no return journey in memory — the past cannot be changed. Only by facing the future with a completely new and fearless, optimistic mindset can one move forward.

Writing about “fearlessness” reminds me of something I wrote on Twitter: “The more ignorant you are of history, the more fearless you become; the more thoroughly you understand it, the more it chills you to the bone.” This was a comment I made regarding a major event this year. When a person is praised by another, they always feel happy and full of confidence. But when flattered by a crowd, it’s easy to become overconfident and blindly arbitrary — especially when that person’s power is limitless, so vast that it cannot be openly discussed. Civilization and peace are the products of compromise, and in extreme conditions, certain rulers prefer to exploit, suppress, and plunder. Liu Liangcheng wrote in One Person’s Village: “In some years, we can only barely survive by becoming beasts of burden — those were not days fit for human beings.” I worry deeply, and I don’t want to end up in Jiabiangou, so I simply cleared out my Weibo account and became a silent beast.

Clearing Weibo wasn’t just out of fear — another reason was that I’d had enough of the excessive and utterly worthless information feed. I spent too much idle time on social media over the years, and I neither monetized any of that information nor became an influencer of any kind. Comparing the time cost invested with the informational value gained, it was a losing proposition. I then deleted the Weibo mobile app, and life seemed not to be affected at all. Now I only use Twitter to record my own thoughts, my blog for long-form essays, and Netflix for TV dramas; occasionally I browse V2EX and tech websites. Return to life, embrace simplicity to its core — this is a result that the younger me, who loved flashy clothes and spirited living, could never have imagined.

When I visited a childhood friend’s house in the first half of the year, he said he had no dreams — his only goal now was to make money. What a coincidence — my goal is also to make money! And I set a small target every year. The 2018 target wasn’t fully achieved — I reached 94.4%.

The economic outlook for 2019 is widely expected to face major problems. I currently have no savings, only a self-occupied home, so I’m not worried about asset depreciation. My mortgage is one-eighth of household income, far below the one-third safety line. The liquor industry I work in, if the information is accurate, actually performs better when the economy worsens. However, my parents’ income in recent years has declined significantly, and my younger brother is still in high school — factors I cannot ignore. If the economy continues to decline in the coming years, my parents may have to return to the countryside. The hometown has enough land for cash crops, which might be a viable path. I’ve always longed to build an American-style house in my hometown, but I currently lack the opportunity and funding. If my parents go back, I’ll work in that direction!